I noticed when Jeff & I first got married the main question on everyone's mind was when were we going to start a family. And as soon as Jude was born everyone was curious when we were having another. Then sweet August joined the family and everyone wondered if we would "try for a girl". Now that we "got our girl" people, especially strangers, assume we're done.
Are we done? This has been the great debate in the Gilbert household & I truly wish I had a solid answer! Not so I can fill strangers in on my fertility plans, but so that I myself would know the answer. I would LOVE to have more. I've always dreamed of having a large family (minimum of 4) and at this point I can't see myself being done. Yes, don't get me wrong, we have been incredibly blessed so far! The boys are incredible & I can't wait to hold our beautiful daughter in my arms. But I don't feel that sense of complete I've heard friends mention.
When Jeff & I were dating and getting close to becoming engaged we would sit and talk for hours about our future and what we saw that looking like. Following a friend's advice we would ask the hard questions like "What if I become paralyzed, would you still love me?" or "What if I get a job transfer to Texas, would you move with me?" or "How many children do we want & how long til we try?" Back then, the answer was "Wait 2 years and then start our family. 4 children". However God had other plans, he's funny like that. We found out about Jude when we had been married just 6 short months and then discovered he was going to be a big brother when he was only 3 months old.
In our minds we never pictured having 3 children in under 3 years. But that's how it worked out. Having them so close together has been quite the, uh, adventure. And although in my heart I know I don't want to be done, I know I'm not ready for another baby just as quickly after the birth of Georgia. Daddy on the other hand thinks our hands and house are full and he would be content calling it a success with 3. ;-) haha
So for now we wait. We welcome Georgia's upcoming arrival and anticipate what that means for our daily routine and lifestyle. We realize it will be several month of pure "survival mode" like it was once August was born. And we will table the topic of "are we done?" until later.
Maybe God will surprise us again and give us the answer I'm so desperately seeking. Maybe he'll give me the peace & contentment Jeff feels in his heart or maybe he'll surprise us with another little love. Only time will tell.
